This blog post is all about sweet, sugar, candyman… Nooo, I am not sharing my award winning cupcake recipe just yet! Today I am taking a closer look at “sugaring” to find out who the so-called sugar babes are and what makes them anything more or less than an average high class hooker. I am going to compare them to the “ordinary escorts” to investigate the differences (if there is any) and similarities between them. I found an interesting article written by THE “sugar baby” experts, which provides an excellent base for a promising discussion. They state: “many are quick to label the Sugar lifestyle choice as prostitution, but there are many differences between this lifestyle and the oldest profession. High-end or not, a call girl is not an interchangeable word for a Sugar Baby.” Hmmm… of course not 🙂 So let’s see if we get to a consensus by any of the below listed arguments.
1. A Relationship vs a Transaction
They say: “A prostitute and a client have a transactional relationship. They meet, exchange funds, and participate in some sort of physical act and part ways. Typically, this is a one time occurrence. A job. There is no relationship, and no possibility for a relationship. And that is the key difference really: Relationship.
Sugar Babies and Sugar Daddies have on-going relationships, not transactions. More often than not, a Sugar relationship will resemble that of a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. There are real connections and real possibilities at romance, something that is not in the realm of possibility with an escort or prostitute. Just because a relationship doesn’t follow the traditional rules of courtship, doesn’t mean it isn’t valid. It also doesn’t mean it’s illegal.”
My opinion: It is partly true. Escorts generally have clear lines and boundaries, and follow previously agreed terms, which I find important and necessary! However, it does not indicate that an “escort and client” relationship is not based on real connection, feelings and friendship. Stating that an escort relationship is solely based on a transaction isn’t right. After all, a sugar baby-daddy relationship is established on some sort of financial advantage for the sugar babe as opposed to being a romantic love affairs.
In addition, most sugar babies are much younger than their sugar daddies and if the man wasn’t wealthy and willing to provide the sugar baby would have never laid an eye on him (pure financial interest exists). It might be a certain amount of money paid monthly by the sugar daddy or gifts, paid bills, covering living costs, cars, vacations etc. in exchange for (true or faked) affection, dates and sex. Honestly, I don’t see much difference between a call girl and a sugar babe in this respect.
2. Being a Sugar Baby vs Being a Prostitute
They say: “Sugar is a lifestyle choice, not a profession. A sugar baby is a woman who wants to date financially secure men who can provide her with the lifestyle she desires. She’s selective about who she dates; a prostitute isn’t picky about who she takes on as a client. The risks involved with prostitution are countless, and include exposure to crime, abuse, sexually transmitted diseases (STD) and theft of service. Many prostitutes are also subject to physical and emotional abuse, especially when involved with a pimp. And in Sugar, sex is never a requirement, only an aspiration.”
My opinion: The above described prostitution clearly pictures the sad life of a (cheap) street walker. That is dangerous and not very glamorous, I agree. However, I represent another class of sex workers, who very much gets to decide whom to take on as a client. This form of prostitution is a lifestyle choice as well. Moreover, a high class escort is likely to engage in protected sexual activity, which is safer for both the provider and the client. On the other hand, sugar babes, being “girlfriends” are generally expected to have sex without condom which could easily lead to STDs (considering they have more than one sugar daddies and lovers) and unwanted pregnancies, which obviously could be huge problem for married sugar daddies.
3. Dating a Sugar Baby vs Ordering a Prostitute
They say: “A Sugar Daddy is generous, and wants to see their partner succeed. When two people are involved in a mutually beneficial relationship, they respect and value one another’s time. Sugar relationships can turn into long term serious relationships.
Prostitutes are paid to perform a service, while Sugar Babies sometimes receive funds as an added benefit of dating a generous man. A john doesn’t want a hooker to stick around, and a Sugar Daddy doesn’t want his Sugar Baby to leave. While an escort might have a sordid sexual history, a Sugar relationship is often monogamous.”
My opinion: sometimes ordering an escort is exactly what a man wants: easy, uncomplicated and free of drama. A sugar babe can get too attached to the sugar daddy and she could even get needy or demanding, which is tiring to put up with. Meanwhile, ordering a prostitute (of any kind) is a simple and clear deal: there is a previously agreed duration, service (not always sexual) and a clearly set compensation for it. It is very hard to believe that a sugar daddy would finance someone’s life and settles for a non-sexual companionship in return. We all know it is not true. When the sexual excitement starts fading, Mr Sugar Daddy will move on to the next available and motivated sugar baby.
4. Quality vs Quantity
They say: “Most Sugar Babies aren’t solely involved in the sugar world. Sugar Babies are also teachers, college students, actresses, and business professionals. They seek successful mentors that can advance their career, not a temporary fix. Sugar Babies can be present in the lives of Sugar Daddies because they have long-term professional goals, and interesting personalities to keep everyone intrigued.
Prostitutes on the other hand, use their trade as a source of income — it’s a last resort for many women who are pressed for money. They aren’t looking for mentors or anyone with a specific level of expertise. You may meet hundreds of prostitutes before finding anyone to fulfil your emotional needs. Prostitutes are hired to role play for the evening — they’ll be whomever you want them to be, but they won’t necessarily be themselves. She treats you like a job, not like a man.”
My opinion: As a matter of fact, many high class escorts are students, trainees or even business professionals holding a day time job and do escorting part time. Their goal might be earning some extra cash, but some seek the company of interesting (business)men for other benefits, similar to those described above. Sugar babes are also after the money or support of their sugar daddies, which does not make them any better than a prostitute. Once the money stops flowing or the sugar daddy fails to provide them with the expected benefits, the relationship will rapidly come to end.
All in all, sugar babes are very similar to escorts with one difference: they don’t seem to be drawing a line in the relationship and they must put up with the sugar daddy all the time. As any relationship that involves a great deal of interest, the one between a sugar daddy and sugar babe will terminate the moment when one of the parties stops receiving the desired benefits. Just like the date between an escort and a client comes to its end once the time is up.
Thanks for reading! Love, Eline