It seems that being able to deliver a “long lasting” performance in bed has a key importance for most of the guys out there. One of my regulars often complains about having a quick orgasm. Maybe he feels like an underachiever… I am not sure if there is such a thing, but certainly it inspired me to do a little research and possibly write a blog post about it. I found a non representative article that suits the topic. According to the findings in the article, a sole intercourse lasts about 5,5 minutes. Of course the entire game with all the fore play and after play lasts much longer than that. I have never met a person who had complained about having too long foreplay, so we are only considering the length of the actual intercourse. Here is the entire article, so you might want to read it just for the fun of it. After all it’s not the length of sex that matters but the intensity and the joy of it.
This is how long sex supposed to last
If you’re a non-scientist, you might have once asked yourself, propped against the bedhead after disappointingly quick intercourse, how long does sex “normally” last?
A scientist, though, would phrase the same question in an almost comically obscure way: What is the mean intra vaginal ejaculation latency time?
I know there’s a lot more to sex than putting the penis into the vagina and ejaculating, but the rest is not always easy to define (kissing? Rubbing? Grinding?). To keep things simple and specific, we’ll just focus on the time to ejaculation.
Measuring an average time to ejaculation is not a straightforward matter. What about just asking people how long they take, you say? Well, there are two main problems with this. One is that people are likely to be biased upwards in their time estimates, because it’s socially desirable to say you go long into the night.
The other problem is that people don’t necessarily know how long they go for. Sex isn’t something people normally do while monitoring the bedside clock, and unassisted time estimation may be difficult during a transportive session of love-making.
Why do we have sex for so long?
As an evolutionary researcher, all this talk of how long sex lasts make me wonder: Why does it last any time at all? All sex really needs to achieve, it seems, is to put sperm into the vagina. Why all the thrusting and bumping? Instead of sliding the penis in and out many hundreds of times per sexual session, why not just put it in once, ejaculate, and then go have a lemonade and get on with the rest of the day?
Before you say, Because it’s fun to go in and out!, remember evolution doesn’t care about fun per se – it generally only “designs” things to be enjoyable if they helped our ancestors pass on their genes to future generations. For example, even though we like eating food, we don’t chew each mouthful of it for five minutes just to make the enjoyment last longer. That would be inefficient, and so we’ve evolved to find it gross.
Why we last so long is a pretty complicated question with no clear answer, but a clue may be in the way the penis is shaped. In 2003 researcher showed– using artificial vaginas, artificial penises, and artificial sperm (corn syrup) – that the ridge around the head of the penis actually scoops out pre-existing syrup from the vagina.
What this suggests is that men’s repeated thrusting might function to displace other men’s semen before ejaculating, ensuring their own swimmers have a better chance of reaching the egg first. Incidentally, this could explain why it becomes painful for a man to continue thrusting after ejaculating since that would risk scooping out his own semen as well.
So what to do with this information? My advice would be to try not to think about it in the throes of passion.”