The topic of this post was inspired by Alex. He is a friend of mine, who happens to be a great and passionate lover as well. Being such a skilful sex expert his ideas and suggestions matter to me. Alex keeps talking about having a threesome with another woman. He did it before and he loved it. 
It makes me curious and want to give in to his persuasion. We agree on the fact that strictly a female participant could be involved. Thinking of this particular suggestion raises some questions in my mind. Why does a threesome fascinate so many people, both women and men? Why do many couples enjoy the fantasy of including a third person in bed? Why does so many people want to try it? There might be some reasonable answers out there, I just need to find them.
I’m generalising here, but within advice columns and mainstream sex advice books, coverage of threesomes tends to fall under the following perspectives:
- Threesomes are wrong and should never be considered
- Threesomes are great in fantasy but never work in reality
- All parties never truly agree to a threesome, one person is always coerced or pressured into it by another
- Having a threesome inevitably leads to your relationship ending
- Threesomes are great. Everyone should try them and if you don’t like them you’re a prude.
None of these really help me as a blog writer and curious “sexperimenter”, and they probably aren’t that useful to the general audience either. There are personal factors that might influence the outcome of a threesome. One might love it, and in the same time the other feels left out, or even frustrated. I personally think that men are generally more turned on by the thought of having two women in bed at the same time. Men tend to love hunting for new experiences and in the same time conquering females. On the other hand, women have more profound feelings and if a woman loves her man, she might be jealous of the other “rival” lady in bed.
The first assumption is too harsh in my opinion. Why not try it? Everyone can decide for herself if this sexual game is suitable or not. The second one sounds somehow judging if not even nagging. Who can tell up front if it works or not? As I mentioned already, certain personality traits might influence the success and enjoyment of the “party”. Furthermore, if the parties like and know each other, I think a threesome can bring an enjoyable experience to all participants. For sure, a threesome requires increased level of attention and attraction between the parties. Also, it can be more challenging than a traditional sexual intercourse between two people. Surely, the idea of a threesome is exciting and can refresh the sex-life of a couple leading a long-time relationship. Neither should a liaison end because of an awkwardly attained sexual fantasy! That would be a silly reason to end an otherwise well functioning relationship.
To summarize very briefly, a threesome can be really exciting and enjoyable if it is done with the right partners at the right time. All participants should be equally involved and everyone’s needs should be satisfied. Taking this advice, one can perceive a pleasurable and memorable sexual experience. To conclude, the advantages and joyful pleasure of a threesome sound “inviting” enough for me to try it as well!
